Apocalypse Now
by ProbablySatan
Summary: Leah's world keeps falling to pieces."After what seems to be three years of falling, she is on her back and sure that she is finally dying. There are tears at the corner of her eyes, because maybe, this is what she's been waiting for all along. It's a good way to die too, because there is a stranger with a voice like honey holding her hand and calling her darlin'." ALL HUMAN
1. Chapter 1

_Apocalypse Now_

1

Everyone on the Rez knows that every Friday Leah prays to the porcelain Gods. And like clockwork, she retches, head bowed, knees bent. It is the closest thing to praying Leah has done for a while.

She leans closer to the toilet, letting a spew of vomit exit her lips. It splashes loudly in the toilet but Leah barely notices. Her head hovers precariously, her hair licking the edges of an abused toilet seat in a sleepy pub on the outskirts of Forks.

The first time Leah had decided to drink until she vomited, Jacob has been there, holding back her hair and telling her that he wouldn't say a word to her mother.

Lead does not remember a thing, but Jacob tells her that that day, all she could do was ask for her father.

"_Tell my dad I need him."_

And Jacob wouldn't dare - _couldn't _dare tell a drunk Leah that her father could not help her. Not now - not ever again.

Leah remembers the fifth or sixth time she'd been drunk. A family barbecue in the summer. It was 9 at night in her backyard and all her aunts and uncles crowded around a great bonfire, talking about Harry and football. The beer had felt warm in her stomach and the fireflies danced like tiny flames in the night air.

Then Emily appeared, not looking Leah in the eye. Leah drowned four more beers without stopping and stormed into the house, searching for her mother.

When she had found her in the laundry room, searching for tablecloths and plastic forks, Leah approached her, slurring over her words and demanding that she tell her why she invited such a fucking _bitch_ - such a traitor - to _their_ family party.

Her mother slapped her so hard that Leah forgot to be drunk. Sue's eyes were on fire yet were swallowed by moisture all the same.

"Emily is family," Sue turns away, not looking at the deep red mark appearing on Leah's brown skin. "Harry was her father's brother. Her Uncle. You share blood; therefore she is here." Then Sue turns to look Leah in the eye, sighing like all the life has left her body, "and you don't have to be if you keep drinking in my house."

Leah had stared at her as her mother left, a pile of bright green tablecloths in her arms and a frown pulling at the corner of her mouth. Leah remembers staring at the wall that night, wishing she could disappear into the ground.

_Sh__e hates me_, Leah had thought, _My mother hates me._

The only other time that rings clearly in her memory is when she was with Seth- or more accurately-Seth found her slaving away at some vodka in the back of Sam's parent's garage. The rest of the Rez boys had been there earlier, but they had all dispersed due to orders from their girlfriends or mothers.

Leah remained though, her dress with the daisies all bunched up around her thighs and she alone wishing that at least Jacob had staid. At least to keep the jokes running.

And then Seth had come around the corner, took one look at her, and started crying. _What a baby_, Leah had thought, _My poor baby brother._ He had only been fifteen and everything in his life had been ripping at the seams and tiny stitches that he had believe God had sewn well and strong. Because, his father was supposed to still be alive, and his mom wasn't supposed to be feeding Bella's dad dinner, and Leah was supposed to marry Sam, and Emily was supposed to be baking cookies, not having children with his sister's boyfriend.

Seeing Seth crying had sobered her like that slap from her mom. It had been a long time since their dad died, but Seth cannot stomach it all, even after a few years had passed. The kid couldn't very well break up with any of his girlfriends without starting to cry _with_ them.

So she took her baby brother into her sloppy arms, hidden in her ex-boyfriends garage at his baby shower.

Her mom hadn't even made her come to Emily's baby shower; Leah had gone willingly, only to make Sue happy. She had considered bringing Emily old baby clothes that they had picked out years ago, but figured that it would've been in bad taste.

These days, Leah would do anything to make her mom happy- even be Emily's goddamn maid of honor if that's what it'd come down to.

Sue had always been on Emily's side anyway- when they were kids, she had always believe Emily's side of the story, always gave Emily the bigger piece of chocolate, always kissed both her cheeks in the morning (even the scarred side), and bought her sparkly shoes with rhinestones on them.

Seth had told Leah that that was 'cause Sue had felt bad for her, that the marks on Emily's face would never go away, and that since Emily's mom had passed from that accident, Sue would do whatever she could to make Emily feel loved.

Leah did not know that including Emily meant forgetting all about her.

It is evident now. Wherever Emily goes, Leah must leave. Sam had made all that perfectly clear and three years later, it was all so perfectly clear and the wound still fresh.

It hadn't taken long at all for her place to be taken. She was 15 and in love when Emily had come-and the poor girl was only 14 and abused when she began living with them.

Harry would never forgive his brother for turning his niece's skin purple and blue, drunk or not. Sue gave her the spare room and a new life. Leah let her into her group of friends at school-not her boyfriend's pants. That part, Emily had achieved all by herself.

But no matter how many times a 17 year old Leah looked on to Emily's scarred face and content smile, she had never saw it coming. Not even as Emily grinned prettily and told her how Sam was nice and smart and handsome and that Leah was _so so_ lucky. Not even when Emily braided her hair too tight and continued to tell Leah how lucky she was, did she see any of it coming.

Leah got pregnant her junior year. Her father would not look at her for three weeks.

Sam's parents did not invite her to dinner anymore- which was completely infuriating. Leah had not gotten pregnant on her own!

But Sam was loyal. He touched her stomach and told her that she was beautiful everyday. And that after they had their baby, they would get married, and he would go to college, and then when he graduated, she would go too and become a lawyer or something grand and exciting and expensive like that.

They would be just fine.

She and Emily shopped for baby clothes and argued over cute baby names. Leah was 17 and stupid, Emily was 16 and jealous.

That October, she was supposed to be three months pregnant. Instead, she had lost the child and was told she could never have kids again.

She would never forgive Sam for the look of relief that had flashed across on his face. It had only lasted half a second, but she caught it, and it _hurt_.

Her father sat with her in the hospital all day and told her that he was sorry and he had been really excited to be a grandfather. When she told him that he was making her feel like shit, he continued good-naturedly, patting her hands and continuing to speak. He told her that one day he would be, and they would be _her_ children. He told her that Leah was born from the strongest woman in Washington-in the world maybe, and that Leah was just like her; made for moving mountains and causing miracles to fall from the sky and into her waiting palms.

By January, Harry was gone. Heart attack. The doctors couldn't do anything to save him and his chestnut eyes, full of love are steadily fading from Leah's memory.

It was just after graduation that she found them together, under piles of sheets, dirtied by their sin.

Hair the color of night spilled over Emily's bare brown shoulders and covered her scarred face like it was hiding a secret. Her breasts bounced with each movement and her eyes-her eyes Leah's father's-like his brother's, fluttered open to stare at her in surprise.

Leah stared at the nail imprints in Sam's back, focusing on the little green dots of paint on her cousin's nails, instead of at the moving bodies in front of her. Sam hadn't even noticed her and was making more noise than he had ever made with her.

His mouth ravaged Emily's skin as she looked at Leah and Leah looked at her hands.

Emily had never made him stop and Sam had not noticed Leah was there, too far deep into her cousin to notice.

His moaning became louder and Emily closed her eyes on Leah, clutching Sam's hair between her fingers and moving against him, meeting each thrust with a wail of her own. Emily attacked his neck with kisses as their hips met and the groaning rose.

Leah would never forget and she let out a noise that sounded a little like death and her fingernails dug holes into her skin and her fingernails dug _holes_ into her skinand _oh god_ her hands were fucking _bleeding_ and Sam was done and Sam was saying _I love you _Sam was saying _I love you Emily_ and Sam was kissing her mouth and Emily was looking at Leah and Emily was closing her eyes and smiling and saying _I love you I love you so fucking much Sam, more than Leah could, more than anyone in this world Sam_

_I love you Emily_

_I love you Emily_

_I love you_

Leah vomits.

The Forks pub is pretty much as lively as it is ever going to get. She wipes her mouth shakily. The toilet looks like two instead of one. Great. Now she doesn't even know where to aim.

She stands, wobbly even in her busted converse, and staggers back to the bar. At least now, she can drink legally. She's just turned 21 and doesn't know what to do with her life.

But hey! She can go buy a vodka tonic and drink until the bartender stops her.

Except this time, the bartender doesn't stop her. He just keeps passing her more and she's fucking _wasted_. She can barely hold the cup steady in her hands, the world blurs so bad she might not even make it to the bathroom anymore.

In fact when she's halfway there, she's sure she _won't. _The lights are dimming all around her and she is losing her balance. After what seems to be three years of falling, she is on her back and sure that she is finally dying. There are tears at the corner of her eyes, because maybe, this is what she's been waiting for all along. It's a good way to die too, because there is a stranger with a voice like honey holding her shoulders and calling her darlin'.

_Darlin', you'll be just fine._

**Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Apocalypse now**

**1**

Leah's eyes crack open just a bit, and she can just make out lights passing overhead, moving fast and shinning bright. They are fluorescent and daunting. Her eyes try to follow the linear path but she dips in and out of consciousness as she does so.

Her head is swimming, and so are the lights.

She can feel herself come to a stop. The voice like honey is asking for someone above her head. The velvety words sound disconnected to Leah, like she listening from under water. "Is my uncle busy? I'd feel more comfortable if he were here."

Another voice replies, but it's nothing like honey, and filled with annoyance masked with fake polite, "Jasper, Dr. Cullen is in surgery right now. Please trust that our staff is skilled and confident, can you do that, honey?"

Honey. Leah tries to concentrate on just that, if only to keep herself grounded. She attempts to crane her eyes open, in order to try and see what he looks like, but quickly gets distracted with whatever the hell is going on with her body.

A tube is shoved down her throat.

She gags and her eyelashes flutter as she struggles to keep her eyes open. She can only catch flashes of gold and fluorescent bright lights before she is left in darkness.

-:- -:- -:-

There is beeping to her right and yelling to her left.

She can hear it all very clearly. Her mother is saying, "I can't do this anymore, I can't do this!" And Charlie is trying to shh her, his words coming out jumbled and awkward like he's never tried to comfort anyone in his life.

Even Seth is yelling. His voice is shaking like the Earth shivers on a bad day. Leah winces. Seth never yells. "Mom do not blame this on her! She's been through _hell._"

Leah tries to block out her mother's reply. Her eyes stare blankly at the ceiling, wondering just who the hell left the lights on in her room and why they are so bright. The florescent is surely burning against her skin, highlighting her, and making her look like some type of experiment. She glances at the clock beside her to read five am and sighs. Even better, it's the beginning of her mother's shift here at the hospital. Now she'll never leave.

Leah sits up slowly, barely noticing the emptiness in her stomach and moves to yank the annoying IV out of her arm.

"I wouldn't do that," A voice speaks up. "It'll hurt and you'll never stop bleeding."

"Yeah?" Leah turns her head, wincing when she starts to see double again. A tall man stands there, hands in his pockets. "And just who the hell are you?"

To be honest, she doesn't ever remember his name because she was out only two minutes later.

-:- -:- -:-

She wakes up three hours later to the sound of the eight o'clock news and Angry Birds.

For the first five minutes, she doesn't even notice that this Angry Birds nonsense is even going on. She gulps down the entire bottle of water resting by her bedside and the two saltine crackers along with it.

First she is angry, because _who the hell plays Angry Birds anymore_, then she is confused because like, who the hell is actually playing Angry Birds in her hospital room at eight am.

She looks up, her eyes squinting, and sees a stranger sitting across from her bed, tapping at an iPad and making faces.

"Flappy Bird too hard for ya?" Leah mumbles dryly, staring at the guy. Everyone knows that Flappy Bird is the shit and the only people who think that it is literal shit are the ones who couldn't get past five points.

"No, I got bored." The stranger doesn't look up, just keeps throwing those goddamn birds.

Leah frowns, "Highest score?"

""Bout a hundred sixty."

"_What_?" She sits up too fast and has to rub her head, "That's insane. I've only gotten to like fifty."

He doesn't respond, apparently extremely engrossed in the game.

Leah looks around, trying to see if this guy is visiting her roommate or something. When she looks at the bed next to her, she realizes that she doesn't even have one.

"Wait." Leah scrutinizes him. "Who the hell are you?"

The guy puts down his device and looks up. She looks him over apprehensively, noticing blonde hair and pale skin. Not the type that usually hangs around her.

"You don't remember?"

"I didn't, like, fuck you in the club or something, did I?" Leah questions. She shrugs at his astonished face. She doesn't have a filter and she doesn't want one either. She likes to think that she is an open book. "Or like, cause any physical or emotional damage that you want to sue me for?"

"No to both," The stranger says, the look of astonishment slowly fading to one of amusement. "I saw you at the bar and brought you here. I was allowed to stay here with you because my uncle's the Chief of Medicine."

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up." Leah crosses her legs in front of her, the light green hospital gown hiking up her thighs. She looks down, unconcerned. "I passed out at that nasty Forks club, almost died again, and you decided to be my knight in shining armor and bring me here?"

"Again?"

"Nevermind that! Who are you? And why are you still here anyway?"

The stranger stands, looking a little embarrassed. "Excuse my manners." She almost expects him to take off his imaginary hat and do a little bow. "I'm Jasper."

The slight southern accent comes as a surprise to her, but there's something sweet she likes about it.

"Friendly, but not a ghost," Leah grumbles and eyes him, "Hopefully."

Jasper raises an eyebrow, "I think the guy you're looking for is Casper."

Leah blinks at him.

"Casper the friendly ghost. Not Jasper."

"Shit. I totally knew that!" She quiets for a moment and then, "So what are you still here for? Want compensation for saving a damsel in distress?"

"No nothing like that." Jasper's voice and smooth. He sits back down but his iPad is left forgotten, "It just seemed like the right thing to do."

"Stay here or help me?"

"Both."

-:- -:- -:-

"I decided what you need."

"More sleep?

"AA meetings."

Silence.

"Mom...you can't be serious-"

"Dr. Cullen recommended them. They have them here at the hospital."

Leah shakes her head, "I'm not an alcoholic."

Sue stands across from her bed, her arms crossed against her chest. "This is the second time you've had to get your stomach pumped and you're trying to tell me you don't have a problem?"

"I don't have a problem." Leah growls back, watching her mom's face change to one of annoyance.

"Leah, I'm not going to argue with you. Either you go to these meetings or you get out of my house."

Leah feels something bubble in her stomach. Her eyes begin to sting, hot and moist, like acid is being poured into her eyelids. "Mom I can't. I have school and work, I'm busy."

Sue's lips press into a thin line. "You're going to have to make it work. Meetings are every Friday at seven. Be there."

Fridays at seven. Well that definitely cuts into her visits with the porcelain Gods. Leah groans out something unintelligible that makes her mom's glare intensify. She even opens her mouth to begin a lecture, "Leah-"

"Ah." Someone steps in, "Am I interrupting something?"

"Jake!" Leah almost cries from relief. "Absolutely not. You're not interrupting anything." She sends him a look that screams _Get this crazy bitch out of here_ and then smiles.

"Yes, you are," Sue says plainly. "But it's nice that you came, Jacob."

"Sure sure," He smiles easily.

"Mhm," Sue hums, "Please tell Leah that what she's doing is destroying her body. I've seen it, Leah Clearwater, I'm a nurse; don't you think I know all about alcoholism and liver failure? Jake, please explain this to your friend here."

"Um-"

The door opens again, and Leah stops trying to remove her ears from her head. A tall blonde man walks through, holding a clipboard. His blue eyes are sapphires screwed into his eyeholes. Leah thinks he looks a bit too happy, for a doctor.

"Hello, Ms. Clearwater, I'm assuming this is your daughter?" The blue sparkles, and the doctor turns to Leah with a polite smile, "I'm Dr. Cullen, my godson sent me here."

"Your godson..." Leah frowns, "Oh! Jasper the friendly ghost! That guy."

Jacob coughs, "its Casper..." Jacob turns to Sue, "Hey, I thought she wasn't intoxicated anymore."

"Shut up," Leah hits him with the hospital bed pillow. "Jasper's a real person." Leah pauses, considering, "Maybe. I could've just been hallucinating."

Carlisle watches them with a smile, chuckling good-naturedly, "I assure you, my godson is real…although he does seem to have the gift of appearing and disappearing at will."

Leah shrugs, unconcerned. They guy was cool and all but she doesn't exactly know why he's so wrapped up in her well-being. He didn't have to send the chief of medicine to check on her.

Unless...

Leah turns to look at her mother, the glorified nurse manager of the hospital's hospice unity. Unless…her mother sent for him so that he could convince Leah to go to those shitty AA meetings.

The doctor smiles again, although this time a little awkwardly under Sue's pressing stare and Leah's quickly forming glare. "Jasper would be happy to be your mentor."

There's a beat of silence.

"Mentor?"

"Yes, Leah, you see when you have meetings you are assigned a men-"

"I know what a fucking mentor is!" Leah bites out, "Jesus Christ, I _don't_ have a problem."

If possible, Carlisle looks even more uncomfortable. "I will tell Jasper to meet you for breakfast tomorrow morning, if that's alright?" He looks at Sue instead of Leah but looks even guiltier after doing so. He turns back to Leah, "That is...if you agree to see him."

"She does," Sue answers for her. The nurse turns to look Leah in the eye, "You will."

Leah huffs against her bed, wanting to scream or cry or drink or do all of the above. She sends Jake a tormented look and sighs. "Fine, but he's paying."

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	3. Chapter 3

She sees him before she sees anything else. He's sitting in a booth by himself, staring out of the window and looking vaguely pissed off. He's wearing a red plaid shirt but manages to make it look designer, Leah can't deny that it could be, with him being related to Carlisle Cullen.

Leah looks down at her own faded red plaid and frowns. _Great, we match._

Leah slides into her seat, her long braid trailing behind her, and squares her shoulders. "Casper."

He doesn't even blink, "It's Jasper." He smoothly slides his book shut and folds his hands, "And I think you knew that."

Leah just rolls her eyes, "Maybe I did."

They are silent for a few moments after that. Leah just stares boredly at his forehead, wondering if he is going to start talking about the healing process for addicts or whatever mentors even talk about.

After a few more minutes of silence, she decides that she has something she needs to say. She had considered waiting for him to start off the conversation, but at this point she just wants to make something clear.

"Listen," She begins, "I honesty shouldn't be here right now. I don't have a problem."

The blonde just taps his fingers on his book, starring at her with honey colored eyes. Finally, he tilts his head, appraising her. "Funny, I never said you did."

Again, Leah rolls her eyes. What's with this guy? She raises the menu to get away from his stare and looks at the nice selection of pancake combos. "You're right, you didn't. But I'm here so everyone else must think I do." She winces, and is suddenly glad that the menu is hiding her face. She sounds like petulant child at this point.

"And why's that?"

This time, Leah lowers the menu and narrows her eyes. Now he's just being annoying. Jasper must realize it too because he raises his book and shrugs, "I'm a psych major, I have to ask."

Before Leah can reply, a waitress comes to the table with a cup of coffee and a flirty smile. Leah has to roll her eyes; she's seen this routine a thousand times but she watches with mild interest as Jasper skillfully and politely avoids her advances. The waitress is persistent though, and she winks when she leaves.

The coffee cup placed haphazardly in front of Leah steams and she pours herself a full cup while getting a good laugh at the uncomfortable look on her new mentor's face.

"Oh, come on, you've got to be used to that."

Jasper frowns, "To what?"

Leah doesn't think she can roll her eyes enough today. She gestures to the pretty brunette waitress. "The waitress. She totally wanted your number or something."

"Oh," Jasper shrugs, "I'm just not interested."

"Ah," Leah leans back in the booth, "You're gay?"

"No."

"Have a girlfriend?"

"No." There's a guarded look in his eyes when he says that though, so Leah figures that it's a touchy subject. She doesn't press on any longer and resumes menu reading.

After she finishes deciding what she wants, she puts down the menu and looks at him again. "I have a question."

He raises his eyebrows, "Yes?"

"Since you're a mentor, you've been through this whole addiction thing before, right?" When he nods, she continues, "So how long have you been sober?"

"I guess I'm obligated to answer that."

Leah crosses her arms, "Um, yeah. You kinda are."

"'Bout two and a half years."

She raises her eyebrows, "That's not long for a mentor." Not long at all. How'd he even get this job?

"You're correct." Jasper says, "But Forks is a little short on mentors and just about everything else."

A couple minutes later, the waitress comes back and Leah orders a stack of pancakes and a side of hash browns and eggs. Jasper just orders an omelet and smiles politely when the waitress asks if he would like _anything_ else. Leah tries not to laugh.

When the waitress walks away, Leah asks the only other question that's been on her mind all day. "So if you're sworn against alcohol or whatever, why were you in a pub saving my ass?"

Jasper's eyes meet hers in surprise as if he forgot that part ever happened. "That's a good question."

"Mhm," Leah hums, waiting for his answer. She wouldn't of been as suspicious if he wasn't looking like he'd just run over a puppy.

"I'll just be honest with you, Leah." His southern accent comes out as he says her name and she can feel the corner of her lips tilt upwards. "I wasn't kidding when I said Forks has a lack of services. I'm not really the right mentor for you."

Leah catches on before he can explain the rest. She leans back again, smiling dryly. "Oh I get it. They just figured that any and all addictions are the same and threw you with me."

"Something like that," Jasper agrees. His fingers idly moves his straw in circles in his glass of orange juice. "I'll be honest with you, my addiction wasn't to alcohol, but drugs. I had been addicted to prescription drugs and had occasionally entertained cocaine." He explains to her, his voice light and neutral as if he were discussing the weather and not a multi-year struggle. "I was in the pub that night with my sister and a few friends, but I don't drink too much, and was actually dubbed the designated driver. Then I found you."

They pause again for their food to be delivered. This time, the waitress gets the hint and keeps it moving.

Leah cracks a smile at that. "Okay, got it. You're not even the right type of mentor for me," She summarizes, suddenly amused by this turn of events. "Next question, _why_ are you even mentoring? You're what—? 21?"

"22." Jasper corrects lightly. "And…it's a long story. I'll just say, that my godparent's suggested I do it."

"I get it," Leah says again, and for some reason, she is getting a lot of things about him. "You must feel obligated to do it, too. They're probably paying your college tuition. The Cullens are practically made of money."

"Exactly," Jasper says. "I'd feel bad if I said no, and they've already done a lot of me." He trails off, and Leah figures that, again, that is not a conversation he wants to delve into.

So she lets it drop. They eat in silence until they are both completely finished, and Leah decides that she doesn't mind the guy too much. He's nice and kind of quiet, but is real with her and her problems. She can live with him as her mentor, even if their situations are completely different. She is startled out of her thoughts when Jasper begins to speak.

"Honestly," His voice is soft and Leah leans forward to hear what he has to say. "Honestly, Leah, I don't know how much I can help you. I still have shit I'm dealing with right now."

"So why did they sign you up for this?"

"They figured that being responsible for someone else would open my eyes. But that just makes everything harder," He breaks off suddenly, and looks out the window. After a few moments, he meets Leah's eyes again, "It doesn't matter. What's happening with me shouldn't—and won't— effect you. I'm here to help."

Leah leans back, her smile is large and wild, and her eyes are laughing. She suddenly gets it, and it's hilarious to her. "They just put two very fucked up people together, didn't they?"

Jasper looks up at her, shaking his head a bit, laughing at the reality of the situation. He smiles at her, and his teeth are straight and white. "I guess they did, didn't they?"

-:- -:- -:-

He prides himself on being almost completely honest with Leah. Everything he'd said had been truthful except…

He hasn't exactly been sober for two years.

He figures that she knows that, though. Leah appears to be intelligent and observant, she'd picked up every hint he'd dropped without even batting an eye. She knows he doesn't particularly want to be a mentor, she knows that alcohol was not his problem, and she knows that whatever _was_ his problem still _is._

And she'd just thought it was so funny. Jasper guesses that the situation is kind of comical, but in reality, it's pretty sad.

"Jazz? Is that you?" He hears Esme call as he swings open the door. He doesn't respond as he navigates through the house, giving a brief wave to Edward and his girlfriend in the living room. "How was the meeting?" Esme continues. The woman has a gift for knowing when people are listening, even if they don't respond. "Was she nice?"

Jasper breezes into the kitchen. It is Esme's pride and joy, all granite and steel. He leans over the counter and watches her busy herself with the pots and pan that litter the stove. "It was okay," He mutters. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Glad to hear," Esme smiles, she brushes past and kisses her godson on the cheek. "Do you want a snack? I just made this great spinach dip…"

No matter how old they get, Esme will continue to baby them. Edward, Rosalie, and Jasper all live with Carlisle and Esme, but none of them are their biological children. Edward had been there since the beginning, having been adopted by the Cullens at the tender age of two. The Hale twins had followed several years after due to family circumstances. Esme had been their mom's bestest friend, and their godmother, and she gladly took them in when they were thirteen.

Esme had never had any children of her own simply because she is unable to. After her first miscarriage, years and years ago, the doctors had told her that she could never have children, and just trying, could harm her.

Jasper had always thought it was a shame; the best people were always dealt the worst cards. Esme seemed to be born to be a mother. She deserved to nurse her own flesh and blood; not somebody else's.

Not that he's complaining. Without Esme, where would he be? It's not something he particularly likes to think about, but it always helps him appreciate her more.

"No, I ate a big breakfast," Jasper replies. "Nothing too fancy. We went to the Fork's Dinner."

"Mm," Esme hums, "So tell me about her. What was her name again…?"

"Leah," He supplies.

"Leah, right." Esme says. "Do you think you can help her?"

Ah. That dreaded question. For a moment, her amused and wild smirk appears in his head, and her quote to go along with it. _They just put two very fucked up people together, didn't they? _And Jasper had wanted to disagree, wanted to say no so badly. But she was right.

Jasper is glad that Esme had turned around so that she couldn't see the frown on his face.

"Yeah," And it's not a lie; he may be able to help Leah, but he's not too sure about himself. "She's willing to put in effort."

He doesn't necessarily know if that is true or not, but it makes Esme feel better. In reality, he's sure that Leah is in denial, and is using those Freudian defense mechanisms to avoid all of her problems.

Esme places a plate of fruit in front of him despite the fact that he'd just said he was full. "Did you learn a lot about her?"

Jasper almost scoffs at how much he _didn't. _Leah was assertive and brash. She had turned the conversation on him before he could even begin to think that it was supposed to be about her. She'd done it so swiftly, that he hadn't thought twice about it until right now. In fact, she'd made it seem like he was completely obligated to answer everything she'd thrown at him, when the whole point of the breakfast was for him to get to know her.

When Jasper doesn't answer, Esme continues, "You know, I think this is good practice. It's like being a kind of counselor or psychologist, you know? It's like training for when you actually become one."

Jasper just eats the strawberries placed in front of him to keep from answering. If that's the case, he'd make a really shitty psychologist. He had managed to get nothing accomplished. The conversation is making him uncomfortable to he changes the subject, "Is Rose here?"

There is an awkward pause, and Esme quickly fills it by filling a pot up with warm water. Jasper knows that this spells bad news. He glances at the clock behind him, reading only 10 am. Rose rarely wakes up before 11 unless…

"Alice called," Esme says lowly. "Rose left earlier to meet her at her house so that she wouldn't have to come over here. I believe they went out on a shopping date— Jasper don't look like that." Then Esme is reaching for him, doing that overprotective mother thing that he guesses mother's are supposed to do. She pats his hands, "I know it's hard but—"

"Rose and Alice are still good friends. I get it." Jasper smiles at Esme, and she smiles back. "I'm not upset, Esme, I promise. I've gotten over her, a while ago, actually." He stands from the counter, "And it's not my place to stop Rose from being with one of her closest friends. She can only hang out around Bella so much before her head explodes."

Esme looks at him, unbelieving. "Shh! Don't be so loud! She's just in the next room, there!"

Jasper just laughs and leaves the kitchen. When he reaches the safety of his own room, his smile falls.

He sits on his bed and stares at the piles of books, waiting for him to read. He's going into his senior year of college at the local university. Usually, 22 year olds would've graduated by now, but he'd taken a year off college due to his circumstances. Because of those circumstances, for college he'd decided to stay close to home. His goal now is to get the hell out. Seattle for his master's sounds good enough for him.

He barely realizes he's doing it, but before he knows it, he's reaching under his bed for the box that had been his savior in his teenage years. Being an adult and doing it feels weird.

Little blue pills. Harmless, if prescribed to you, and taken in the right amount. Xanax. Anti-anxiety.

Except, this time, when he looks into the box, he thinks of the native girl. He doesn't exactly know her problem, but whatever it is he _does_ want to help. He'd told Esme he was going to, anyway.

He highly doubts that he can help her and destroy himself at the same time. The girl is too smart; she'd notice just liked she'd noticed everything else.

He shoves the box back under in favor of his iPad.

2048 is one of the best anxiety relieving games he has and he plays it until dinner time. His fingers move the little squares, concentrating, even though he's already beaten the game 46 times before.

**an. ayyeee. Thanks for reading haha.**

**Review *-***


	4. Chapter 4

**Apocalypse Now**

**3**

The AA meetings take place in the most decrepit part of Forks Hospital—which isn't really saying much, because the whole hospital is pretty much falling apart.

Leah turns up her nose as she nears the room. It's literally in the back corner of the hospital and is honestly downright creepy…it doesn't help that this is Forks and it's always fucking raining. Leah stares out the window for a few seconds, taking in the storm happening outside, before she enters the room.

The Clearwater is immediately disappointed when she notices a lack of snacks and other things that would bring about a general feeling of happiness. She huffs and looks around the room, surprised at the number of people that are actually around her age. They look back at her like they've never had a new girl before— and she guesses that they haven't…or at least don't get new people very often.

After a couple seconds of rocking on the balls of her feet and thinking about getting the fuck out of there, she spots Jasper sitting in one of the chairs and playing with his phone. Unfortunately, he looks up at her just as she's about to leave. He just stares at her as her feet gravitate towards the exit, not saying a word.

Leah sighs and turns back around. She finds herself seated next to this blonde catastrophe, wishing she were anywhere else. "Hello Casper."

"Leah," He is slumping in the chair and still manages to look like he's posing for a photo-shoot. How does he do that? He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a notebook and bag of m&ms, "Want some?"

Leah looks at him, what? did he hear her stomach growl or something? She holds out her hands anyway, "Hell yeah."

"Here," He plants the bag in her palms and then opens his notebook. He begins to scribble something down in it, no longer paying attention.

.

Leah gets the vague feeling that he's ignoring her and had only given her the candy to placate her. Leah rips it open with her teeth and stares him down. "You're my mentor, so mentor me." She tries to get a look at what he's writing. "I don't even know what goes on in these meetings."

"They begin with a prayer and then the twelve traditions," Jasper tells her quietly, his eyes looking around the room lazily. "They the either have a speaker, have a discussion, or do a reading."

"Is this church? What the hell," Leah leans back in her chair, "First they don't even have _snacks__—_"

"I brought you m&ms," Jasper mutters.

"Then they have the _nerve_ to have some type of weird book reading and tradition what-not, I think my mom made me join a freakin' _cult__—"_

"Yeah," Jasper agrees, "We sacrifice those who relapse on the third Friday of every month, and on special occasions, like a full moon, we eat a child and try to restart the prohibition movement."

There's a moment of silence and Leah looks at his face, clear of expression, and begins to snicker uncontrollably. "You do sarcasm so well. Oh my God."

"That wasn't sarcasm."

"You're really funny, Cas, hilarious."

His face twitches, "You can't make nickname based off something that's not even my name."

Leah just ignores him and jumps to another conversation, "Yeah, okay, but imagine suggesting Prohibition to a bunch of alcoholics….that would never work." She shakes her head "Your cult logic is flawed, sorry."

"Negative," Jasper crosses his arms and tips his chin back, "That just means the brainwashing worked. You know nothing about cult activity."

"Obviously. I haven't been brainwashed yet," Leah looks up to see a plump middle aged woman stepping up to the podium, "But it looks like I'm about to be."

"Hello, as most of you know, I'm Lorraine Thompson, and I'll be leading tonights meeting." She smiles widely, revealing a row of yellow teeth. Leah grimaces. "First I will read the Serenity Prayer…please bow your heads."

_What if I'm atheist? _Leah bows her head anyway, glancing at the others out of the corner of her eye.

"_God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…blah blah blah." _

Leah tunes her out and gets a good look at her fellow alcoholics. There are about ten of them in total. To her left sits some macho guy with a buzz cut and directly across from her is a red-headed woman with an eternal grimace etched across her face. Leah doesn't get to look too closely at anyone else because apparently the prayer is over.

"Now," Lorraine Thompson begins. Her voice high and bubbly. "I'd like to ask that any newcomers please stand and introduce themselves."

All eyes zero in on her and she sighs. She slowly raises from the chair and says, "Hey. I'm Leah." And sits right back down. As if these low-lives need to know anymore info about her other than the fact that she's even there in the first place.

"Nice of you to join us, Leah. We hope that these meeting will guild you down the right path." Lorraine smiles again, and Leah looks away. "Today will be a discussion day…and the topic is school. How has your addiction influenced your schooling? Any volunteers?"

Leah snorts. She doesn't let her little drinking escapades influence anything…especially her schooling. Getting a good degree is the only way she'll ever make it out of this dump anyway.

The guy with the buzz cut glares at her and makes his way to the podium.

"Oh excellent, Rob, is going to share his story…" Lorraine claps her hands then pats his beefy shoulders. "The stage is yours, dear…" She eventually flutters aside, her checks flushed pink.

_Oh gross_, Leah plants her head in her hands.

"Hello, I'm Robert, and I'm an alcoholic…."

Leah pokes Jasper in the arm, mouthing 'I'm in hell.' He doesn't seem to get it though, and is playing two-dots on his phone in the cover of his notebook.

"…it all started my junior year…beer pong was my life…I was so good at it…" Rob continues. Leah buries her head in her hands as the human meatball begins to talk about the glory of jello-shots and how he got kicked off the varsity football team for failing a breathalyzer test at Homecoming. Apparently, that ruined his chances of getting his football scholarship the next year, and basically, from what Leah gathers, his life sucks because he got addicted to jello-shots in high school.

Eventually, Leah just falls asleep in the most uncomfortable positions ever. Harry with all the piercings had droned on for like _ever_ about how drinking did not help him with his college philosophy class in anyway, and Tamara said she thought drinking would help her art. Instead, she ended up throwing up on all her watercolor pieces.

Leah almost suggested she try LSD or something, but Jasper sent her a look like he knew that she was going to say something inappropriate.

After those two, she just clocked out and slept the rest of the meeting. Jasper hadn't even cared…or maybe he hadn't noticed, too absorbed in whatever game he was playing on his phone.

.

.

"Leah, I'd like to personally welcome you to the group," Lorraine says, a smile ever present on her face. "It's not everyday we get a new member."

"I don't doubt it," Leah mutters, looking at the lady's pink and white flowery shirt and plain khaki's in blatant distaste. "Forks rarely has anything new and this guy," Leah jerks her thumb at Jasper, who's standing behind her, not really paying attention. "Isn't even the correct sponsor for me."

"Are you complaining?" Lorraine's blue eyes flicker to Jasper's blissfully unaware form. Her cheeks pinken and Leah feels her lips curl in disgust. Lorraine just laughs, "Oh dear, Forks is low on everything, but new members absolutely need a mentor. Besides…Jasper here looks quite capable…"

"Um," Leah shifts uncomfortably, "Okay lady, whatever."

Lorraine doesn't even bristle at Leah's rudeness. "How did you like your first meeting?"

"It was…insightful."

Lorraine nods, and smiles again, her thin wed-stained lips stretched over yellowing teeth. She is the epitome of what a midlife crisis would look like. "I hope you don't mind me asking hun…but have you been sober very long? Or have you been struggling pretty badly?"

"Oh," Leah cocks her head back and grins, "I've been sober for about six hours but when I get home I plan to—"

"Pray, and bake cookies," Jasper cuts in. "She'll bring them next meeting."

"Excuse me—" Leah cuts in, but Jasper lightly tugs her elbow and pulls her away.

Despite his rude cut in full of lies, Leah allows him to pull her away. At least he had managed to get her away from that creepy middle-aged disaster in kitten-toed heels. (ew.) "Sorry," Jasper releases her, "It's just, I know your story—"

Leah raises an eyebrow.

"I mean, I kind of know about the situation with your mom. I know for a fact that she and Lorraine work together. Lorraine just volunteers to do this, but she works in the Hospice unit with your mom. She's probably spying on you for Sue."

"Well that was very valiant of you," Leah drawls, "But I don't really give a flying fuck what my mom thinks. I came to this train wreck, didn't I?" She grins, "So she can't complain."

"Okay," Is all Jasper says. They walk to the hospital's entrance and Leah moves to go to her car when Jaspers taps her on the shoulder lightly. "I won't see you until next Friday, but if you need anything, just call."

Leah looks at the little sheet of paper between them. She takes it and slips it into her pocket, "Thanks." She smiles a little, "Means a lot."

Jasper just smiles like he _knows._ He jogs down the steps and to his shiny car, "And Leah?"

"What?"

"No drinking, okay?"

Leah doesn't respond. She slips into her car and shuts the door.

**AN. short chapter. Not particularly a fan f this one. Not my best.**

**I really need to start getting a plot chart for this going. It's all jumbled in my head.**

**review!**


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